I have a picture in my mind of a mixture of kammic ingredients that are sort of, well ... simmering. This concoction is what makes me "me". It remains unfinished and ever changing. I can choose what to add - or not add - to the mix, but what's already there is beyond my control and will remain until it dissipates on it's own. I have no idea what may be ready to rise to the surface, for better or worse.I was drawn to Buddhism because I have been drawn to it at sometime in the past, maybe numerous times. I am keenly aware of how fortunate it is that I have the opportunity to continue. That it took around 45 years to recognize this path and to remember that it is where I belong is quite telling, I think. No, I'm not remembering past lives! But there is a deep sense of familiarity and safety. Much like the feeling one has when finally returning home after a long and difficult journey, or finding ones way after being lost. That I was born in a "non-Buddhist" family and country speaks volumes to me of the power of kamma, past and present. Something was obscuring my view during all those years. Hopefully things will continue to clear and there will be sufficient wholesome kamma to allow me to continue.
3 comments:
This sense of 'coming home' to Buddhism is one that I've noticed quite a number of people have expressed through my life - including me.
I, too, was born into a non-Buddhist family and culture, Kris, although in my case the attraction to the Dhamma arose at a thankfully much earlier age than you; I was seventeen at the time. (This doesn't necessarily mean that I'm any more developed than you, of course. These things are all relative and conditioned.)
Yes, you're use of things continuing to clear along the Buddhist Way is a good one. The unfolding of wisdom seems to be a simplification upon simplification of life, Kris. Ajahn Chah always emphasized that we need to let go of things to progress in our Dhamma-practice, and this naturally leads to a simplification of the experience of what we are.
In this moment, there are various physical and mental sensations arising in awareness. The awareness itself is simple, clear, and transparent. It is the knowing; 'poo-roo' (the knower) as Luang Poo Chah called it. Knowing thoughts and sensations from this perspective is what I mean by an on-going simplification of the experience of what we are.
Identifying with awareness rather than the multitudinous things that it's aware of isn't always easy, of course. Far from it!
Nice post, Kris.
Gary.
Hi Gary,
I did finally get over the feeling of time lost. Old habits you know, and an unexpected clear peek at the sort of things that obstruct the view in the first place. One of those "ahh hahs" that only show themselves when released.
As usual your feedback and encouragement is greatly appreciated.
Hi Kris
May I add…..
You may be familiar with the simile of a person “who had fallen to the sea.” Buddha used this to describe different stages of enlightenment. It looks like you have seen the island (the dry land) and swimming towards it, from what you are describing. Please continue to make wholesome effort (kamma) as you have mentioned and soon you reach the dry land!
Piyal
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