Thursday, July 17, 2008

Seeing Things As They Are

Meeting The Divine Messengers

by Bhikkhu Bodhi

The traditional legend of the Buddha's quest for enlightenment tells us that throughout his youth and early manhood Prince Siddhattha, the Bodhisatta, lived in complete ignorance of the most elementary facts of human life. His father, anxious to protect his sensitive son from exposure to suffering, kept him an unwitting captive of nescience. Incarcerated in the splendor of his palace, amply supplied with sensual pleasures and surrounded by merry friends, the prince did not entertain even the faintest suspicion that life could offer anything other than an endless succession of amusements and festivities. It was only on that fateful day in his twenty-ninth year, when curiosity led him out beyond the palace walls, that he encountered the four "divine messengers" that were to change his destiny. The first three were the old man, the sick man, and the corpse, which taught him the shocking truths of old age, illness, and death; the fourth was a wandering ascetic, who revealed to him the existence of a path whereby all suffering can be fully transcended.

This charming story, which has nurtured the faith of Buddhists through the centuries, enshrines at its heart a profound psychological truth. In the language of myth it speaks to us, not merely of events that may have taken place centuries ago, but of a process of awakening through which each of us must pass if the Dhamma is to come to life within ourselves. Beneath the symbolic veneer of the ancient legend we can see that Prince Siddhattha's youthful sojourn in the palace was not so different from the way in which most of us today pass our entire lives — often, sadly, until it is too late to strike out in a new direction. Our homes may not be royal palaces, and the wealth at our disposal may not approach anywhere near that of a North Indian rajah, but we share with the young Prince Siddhattha a blissful (and often willful) oblivion to stark realities that are constantly thrusting themselves on our attention. If the Dhamma is to be more than the bland, humdrum background of a comfortable life, if it is to become the inspiring, sometimes grating voice that steers us on to the great path of awakening, we ourselves must emulate the Bodhisatta in his process of maturation. We must join him on that journey outside the palace walls — the walls of our own self-assuring preconceptions — and see for ourselves the divine messengers we so often miss because our eyes are fixed on "more important things," i.e., on our mundane preoccupations and goals.

The Buddha says that there are few who are stirred by things that are truly stirring, compared to those people, far more numerous, who are not so stirred. The spurs to awakening press in on us from all sides, yet too often, instead of acknowledging them, we respond simply by putting on another layer of clothes to protect ourselves from their sting. This statement is not disproved even by the recent deluge of discussion and literature on aging, life-threatening illnesses, and alternative approaches to death and dying. For open and honest awareness is still not sufficient for the divine messengers to get their message across. In order for them to convey their message, the message that can goad us on to the path to liberation, something more is needed. We must confront aging, illness, and death, not simply as inescapable realities with which we must somehow cope at the practical level, but as envoys from the beyond, from the far shore, disclosing new dimensions of meaning.

This disclosure takes place at two levels. First, to become divine messengers, the facts of aging, illness, and death must jolt us into an awareness of the fragile, precarious nature of our normal day-to-day lives. They must impress upon our minds the radical deficiency that runs through all our worldly concerns, extending to conditioned existence in its totality. Thereby they become windows opening upon the first noble truth, the noble truth of suffering, which the Buddha says comprises not only birth, aging, illness, and death, not only sorrow, grief, pain, and misery, but all the "five aggregates of clinging" that make up our being-in-the-world.

When we meet the divine messengers at this level, they become catalysts that can induce in us a profound internal transformation. We realize that because we are frail and inescapably mortal we must make drastic changes in our existential priorities and personal values. Instead of letting our lives be consumed by transient trivia, by things that are here today and gone tomorrow, we must give weight to "what really counts," to aims and actions that will exert a lasting influence upon our long-range destinies — upon our final destiny in this life, and upon our ultimate direction in the cycle of repeated birth and death.

Before such a revaluation takes place, we generally live in a condition that the Buddha describes by the term pamada, negligence or heedlessness. Imagining ourselves immortal, and the world our personal playground, we devote our energies to the accumulation of wealth, the enjoyment of sensual pleasures, the achievement of status, the quest for fame and renown. The remedy for heedlessness is the very same quality that was aroused in the Bodhisatta when he met the divine messengers in the streets of Kapilavatthu. This quality, called in Pali samvega, is a sense of urgency, an inner commotion or shock which does not allow us to rest content with our habitual adjustment to the world. Instead it drives us on, out of our cozy palaces and into unfamiliar jungles, to work out with diligence an authentic solution to our existential plight.

It is at this point that the second function of the divine messengers comes to prominence. For aging, sickness, and death are not only emblems of the unsatisfactory nature of mundane existence but pointers to a deeper reality that lies beyond. In the traditional legend the old man, the sick man, and the corpse are gods in disguise; they have been sent down to earth from the highest heaven to awaken the Bodhisatta to his momentous mission, and once they have delivered their message they resume their celestial forms. The final word of the Dhamma is not surrender, not an injunction to resign ourselves stoically to old age, sickness, and death. This is the preliminary message, the announcement that our house is ablaze. The final message is other: an ebullient cry that there is a place of safety, an open field beyond the flames, and a clear exit sign pointing the way of escape.

If in this process of awakening we must meet old age, sickness, and death face to face, that is because the place of safety can be reached only by honest confrontation with the stark truths about human existence. We cannot reach safety by pretending that the flames that engulf our home are nothing but bouquets of flowers: we must see them as they are, as real flames. When, however, we do look at the divine messengers squarely, without embarrassment or fear, we will find that their faces undergo an unexpected metamorphosis. Before our eyes, by subtle degrees, they change into another face — the face of the Buddha, with its serene smile of triumph over the army of Mara, over the demons of Desire and Death. The divine messengers point to what lies beyond the transient, to a dimension of reality where there is no more aging, no more sickness, and no more death. This is the goal and final destination of the Buddhist path — Nibbana, the Unaging, the Unailing, the Deathless. It is to direct us there that the divine messengers have appeared in our midst, and the good news of deliverance is their message.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Stormy Sunset

My mother is 85 years old and, until very recently, had been in pretty good health. Especially for one at such an advanced age. On May 28 she was still driving (yikes!) and happily pursuing her favorite pastime – shopping. She has lived alone since my father died about 25 years ago, and has thoroughly enjoyed being in control of her life. “Calling the shots” is extremely important to her. All of them! It is this absolute need to be in control, to have it her way, that is now her greatest source of suffering.

On May 29 she went into the hospital for a planned pacemaker replacement. All went well and she was to return home in about a week. But, as Ajahn Chah frequently taught, “it's all unsure”. With all discharge planning complete, she became ill, spiked a high fever and began to hallucinate. My brother phoned me with this news and I arrived the next day. She had developed an infection and was now in very serious condition. She was transferred to a larger hospital a short distance away. While in the ICU there, a superb team of doctors and nurses managed to successfully fight the infection. Once again it appeared that she would soon be able to return home.

As she made steady and even dramatic improvement medically, her mental and emotional state took an equally dramatic decline as she grew impatient, angry, demanding and even abusive to those caring for her. She is angry and fearful, not really at the prospect of death, but at the very idea of not being in control. I have seen her react to not getting her way numerous time over the years. It is never pleasant. In this case, in an effort to retain that all important control, she is refusing to participate in her own care. It is a challenging situation for all concerned. Not unlike the challenges faced by countless people and their loved ones the world over.

I have tried to see this through the lens of Dhamma. The aging, sickness and death which we all face sooner or later is serious business. It is a subject that I reflect on frequently. There is nothing I can do to alter the course that my mother has chosen to follow. She is competent and mentally intact, at least by traditionally accepted standards, and free to make these choices that are harming her both physically and mentally in this life and beyond. She has unknowingly given me a most valuable and unforgettable lesson on the urgent importance of a deep and committed practice.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Still Processing - To Be Continued

I've just returned from an unexpected and difficult trip to see my mother. I am still processing the experience and will attempt to write more later. How grateful I am to the Buddha and his teachings. While I was away my only internet access was through my phone, so I was able to read the reflections of my dear Dhamma friends. A true gift.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Cake Anyone?

A couple of weeks ago I was watching my granddaughter eat a piece of cake, so naturally I thought of Ajahn Brahm! What?? :-) Coincidentally the topic of cake and Ajahn Brahm has been popping up in a couple of places that I visit on the web as well. For anyone who hasn't heard one of his Dhamma talks on the different types of Buddhism, here is my favorite. In it he explains, as only he can, that the various schools, traditions and sects can be compared to different flavors of icing on the same cake. I first heard this talk a few years ago, and it quickly helped to ease those pesky questions about which was "right" or "better", and yes even, "which one is authentic?".

Back to my granddaughter for a moment. Here's the thing - she only wants the icing! So when I said I was watching her eat a piece of cake, that wasn't really accurate. She was actually eating icing that happened to be on a piece of cake. She's always only been interested in the icing. Serious sweet tooth that one! All the color and sprinkles and creamy sweetness! Mmmmm. It's all so very enticing, especially for a 9 year old. She asks for cake but never eats any of it. It's all about the icing! As far as she's concerned, cake is something that holds icing, nothing more. Plus, she's smart enough to know that if she asked for a bowl of icing and a spoon the answer would be no. Over the years she's missed out on some really good cake!

To wrap this up, my natural inclination when it comes to cake is yellow cake with a bit of chocolate butter cream icing. I'm also quite content with just the cake if there isn't any icing available. It's delicious just the way it is. If you'd ever like to offer me a taste of cake with a bit of your favorite icing that would be lovely. And you're always welcome to have a taste of mine.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Half Way Point

After a rather rocky start to my retreat it is, well, what it is. There have been many distractions, both internal and external. Of course they're all internal when you get right down to it. Focus is illusive. Strangely that seems okay. I'm not sure if it's acceptance or just plain laziness. Being with whatever comes along without running too far with it is the best I can do. But it feels a lot more like apathy than equanimity.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Oh...Poop!

I have spent the better part of the last few days chasing flies. Thankfully this spectacle was not captured on video or audio - especially audio! My language has been a bit crude, even for me. My ability to formulate an endless array of possible loopholes, exemptions and exclusions to the first precept has been impressive! These critters have given me quite a workout, physically and mentally. So what led up to this invasion? (I've never actually seen this many house flies in one place-certainly not MY place!)

It started several weeks ago when my husband took down a large section of the backyard fence that was damaged in a storm and needs to be replaced. (This is starting to sound like that story about a butterfly flapping it's wings in Africa and...) Anyway, to keep our dogs from getting out, he built a temporary fenced in area adjacent to the back door. To be blunt, that created the conditions for a lot of uh, dog poop to be concentrated in a relatively small area. Fast forward to Monday, which was my son's birthday and also Memorial Day. We opened the pool, fired up the grill and had a great family get together. Lots of food, lots of spills, lots of people leaving the door open... Yeah, the flies couldn't resist a temporary change in diet and discovered there was plenty of food to check out just around the corner, so they went for it.

How can one actually become angry at a fly? I mean REALLY angry! These things are incredibly difficult to catch for one thing! Much easier to whack them with a rolled up magazine, or better yet a nice fly swatter. I don't own a fly swatter, but I did roll up a newspaper. Yes I did. And I swore like a sailor and threatened to use it. My threats fell on deaf ears. Can flies hear? It was around this time that I realized how glad I was that there was no one around to witness this whole thing.

It was time for some "lying down" meditation. What came to mind was Ajahn Chah talking about how when we are about to do something wrong we tend to look around to make sure nobody will see. But we often don't consider that WE will see. All the more important to understand this teaching when what we may be thinking of doing would be seen as absolutely the right thing to do by most other people. In fact NOT doing it would be considered, well, a bit crazy!

I learned that it's impossible to catch a fly, let alone dozens of them, when angry or frustrated. I learned that with a calm and focused mind, compassionate heart and patience, it's not that hard to round up a bunch of rowdy intruders and show them the door. A much better result for all concerned than what I had first considered, though briefly!

As Sunday and the start of my retreat fast approaches, I can't help but wonder what the challenges will be that are sure to pop up along the way. And will I be able to see them for what they are, opportunities to strengthen this practice, and not obstacles that get in my way.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Turning Down, Tuning In

In other words it's time for a tune-up. Turning down the mental volume and tuning in to the heart is so easy to forget as we get wrapped up in the day to day hustle and bustle that we latch on to. To step back from some of the stuff of household life, even for a short time, requires careful planning to avoid stepping on other peoples emotional toes as much as possible. Abundant opportunities for developing the Brahma-viharas there. It's all practice, especially the challenging parts.

Last winter Gary over at Forest Wisdom (soon to be found at Buddha Place) did a self retreat and I decided to join him, though a tad late. I found it to be extremely helpful and realize that, much like physical exercise, at least some of the benefit fades over time if not maintained. I also remember that knowing someone else was making the effort as well was a great help, especially in getting through the rough spots. So I invite anyone who visits here to join me if you're able.


I'm planning on the first week in June for my tune-up/retreat. I've a few details to wrap up and some commitments to attend to. Trying to tie up as many loose ends as reasonably possible while remaining open to the inevitable situations that routinely present themselves in an active and sometimes unpredictable household is kind of a warm up exercise in patience and equinimity.


I've chosen Ajahn Sr. Vayama as my retreat 'leader'. It has been a long, long time since I've listened to her teachings so I'm looking forward to her wonderfully direct and gentle guidance. During this time I will commit to meditating each morning and evening, listening to a Dhamma talk by Ajahn Vayama each day, and observing the 8 precepts.